White rice with mice. How Nice!

In this month’s copy of “That’s Beijing” it details some of the ways China is preparing for the Olympics. For all of those who have not “heard” me on how EVERYTHING in China is fake, check this out. Instead of actually looking at ways to make Beijing “greener” by planting trees or cutting down on pollution they will be painting the town green, literally. Beijing is concerned about the first impression visitors will get when they fly over, so any roof deemed undeserving of a garden will be painted green to look like a garden for the benefit of plane passengers overhead.

This, however, is not the best part. The next biggest issue facing the China image is the food. It seems they are concerned of having some Olympian doing backstroke in the remnants of their own dinner so they are instituting “ancient Chinese secret” of food protection: mice. The food needs to be tested before it is eaten and the most sophisticated technology is white mice.

“Emperors had their test testers and Olympic athletes shall have a fleet of white mice nosh on the rice, milk, cooking oil and other edibles. If it is in fact tainted, effects will manifest themselves in the mice within 17 hours of ingestion…”

Dude, I could not make this stuff up if I tried. The other Olympic initiative is the smile patrol to get the Chinese to smile more. Points of emphasis are smiling at strangers and smiling from three meters away.

Con”Beuk”cius says, “Beware of smiling China man eating rice.”

Leave a Reply