It is raining again in Taiwan.

So? Its an island. It rains all the time, but today this means G comes home with wet hair. I don’t care, I love it when she runs down the hall and gives me a big wet hug. While we were discussing the days events (baking bread, singing songs, brushing teeth…) the Nanny practically ripped her out of my arms to dry her hair. “She will get sick!*” No, I said you do not get sick from wet hair. (You have no idea I am tired of hearing this theory!) The Nanny persisted and I help onto G more now to spite the Nanny than anything. Then when “I” was ready, I let G go to get her hair dried. The war began!

I proceeded to SPAM the mess out of the Nanny (as she does to me) with links stating over and over how wet hair has no correlation with getting sick! I even asked her, “What happens when you jump in the pool?” No? That is different?… Oh… I (sic) see. (rolling of eyes)

Her email back to me (you knew she would email me back, right?) was the following:

“If there is a chance,after swimming or wet by the rain,try to make the ginger boiled by water and add some brown sugar(powder, not crystal-will show you another day),will keep you out of the cold,keep healthy-some disease won’t show up untill you’re weak-never judge a book by it’s appearence.”

What? RULE #387 for Crazy Nannies – DO NOT feed my child any of your voodoo syrup drinks without my explicit permission and supervision! I understand that Asians think ginger is the cure for everything, but please be reasonable. Everyone liked Mary Ann better anyway.

Next she sent me a link to Gary Wu’s Blog.
That was a mistake.

The referenced article states:

“When a person wakes up in the morning, he is feeling refreshed and full of energy. As the day progresses, the person loses the energy, or chi, and he becomes tired as the day approaches night time.”

Uhmm, I don’t. I am quite tired in the morning. This is why God invented “Sunrise Breakfast” and Starbucks. This is also why it is important to eat as it gets your metabolism moving. Ask the U.S. if I am full of energy on 5am conference calls. The point is we are humans, we have to sleep. If you sleep you feel better, but don’t give me this “feel refreshed routine.”

Next Gary hits another sore spot I have:

“The more Xie that the body has, the more capacity that the body has to carry Chi.”

Ok, if you say so…but one minor point: this is obviously a Taiwan author as the Chinese word for blood is Xue not Xie as in:
血 xuè – blood
吸血鬼 xī xuè guǐ – vampire; bloodsucker
Taiwanese change the word (as they do with a lot of Chinese words) to be Xie3, but it is the same character.

“Human body generates Xie through quality sleeping.”

What? I generate blood through sleeping? So, explain why I did not die from lack of blood on my trip to Italy when I did not sleep? I also guess the first hit on Google for “Where does blood come from” is wrong. See ya liver…All I need is sleep! Why yes, I would like another drink, It is not like that liver of mine is going to help me generate blood. Just a quick cat nap here on my desk will do me just fine! Bone marrow transplant? Why sure I can! This is ridiculous to suggest that blood comes back from sleeping. I know he is trying to dumb it down for the masses and sleep probably allows the liver to generate plasma, but come on. We don’t have to operate at the lowest common denominator all the time. It is called the LOWEST common denominator for a reason.

The sidebar states:

“Many people achieved a healthier lifestyle through following the methods described in the book and the book gained fast popularity through recommendations amongst readers.”

Really? With advice like “sleep when you are tired” how could he go wrong?
My comment to Gary:

“You know I tried following the advice of sleep when I was tired. Then the bills did not get paid, my boss got angry and I lost my job for sleeping at work. Now I am homeless and you know what “I get to sleep when I am tired!” Thank you for helping me have a healthier lifestyle. Where would I be without you?”

(sigh) So, I went on a lil rant here. It drives me crazy to be surrounded by all these crackpots with their crackpot theories and their crackpot protagonists. We certainly have heard some doozies:

  • “Don’t feed the dog ice cream, he will howl from the cold.”
  • “Carrots must remain in their own dirt IN THE REFRIGERATOR to stay fresher longer.”
  • “If the panties are wet, put a diaper over them.”

My biggest complaint about this email that the Nanny sent is…


* – We have also heard another story about how if you go to sleep with wet hair you will get sick. Not right away, maybe like 20-30 years later!!! That flu you are having now? Blame Mom for putting you to bed with wet hair.