Keep your eye on the laowai


Keep your eye on the laowai, originally uploaded by beuk.

What is this guy looking at? Is he spying on the foreigners again in that

apartment building? I swear there is a government run people’s action

program to keep up to date on the activities of the laowai (pronounced: Loud

-d + why meaning foreigner…actually, LOUD wai wouldn’t be that inaccurate

either, but that is another story). We have cameras in the elevators,

cameras in the halls, cameras in the lobby and probably satellites spying on

us from space. They even have a lil guy on a bike ride by every day with a

megaphone playing over and over for the people to hear. I just know it

says, “Good people of China, do not forget to turn in your laowai reports by

close of business today. It is in the country’s best interest that we keep

up to date records on all of their activities.”

Of course there are other theories as to what the man with the megaphone on

the bike is saying:

1. Keep your eye on the LaoWai (see above)

2. the pre-PRE-announcement to the recycle brigade. He announces that

today is a recycle day. Later a man with a bike and a bell comes by

announcing that ANOTHER man with a bike and a bell will be COMING by to

collect the recycling, so get ready, THEN the smallest woman in China ends

up carrying away all the recyclable goods while the men ride home jingling

their bells.

3. Announcing the morning lottery results.

4. Telling the people to clear the streets so the black helicopters can

land.

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