WARNING WARNING – This post is extremely ranty!

Delta, Delta, Delta… What are we gonna do with you? Let me first say that this is the nicest most non-ranting title I could come up with for this post. Some people have asked why I have not been blogging lately? The reason is my Momma. My Momma said, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Hmmm.. come to think of it, she didn’t say don’t TYPE anything at all, and seeing as I need to get this post off my chest before I can post more, here goes:

Delta You Disappoint Me!
The only time I have to fly on Delta is when I travel back to the U.S. thus thank goodness it is not too frequently. I will not bore you with the usual spiel about how the planes are as old as the staff, etc.. instead lets talk about the actual experience.

  • expensive ticket
  • 14 hour flight
  • crossing multiple times zones
    and this is what Delta feels you deserve:
  1. $7 drinks – this is for liquor, but at $7 I say you might as well charge me for OJ.
  2. No personal movie screen – seriously? I don’t want to watch the same G-rated movie that the rest of the plane enjoys. Nor do I want an infomercial on the U.S. destinations that I can’t fly to since I LIVE IN ASIA, hence this is an International flight!
  3. No leg room – I know you may have expanded first class, but it should not have been at the expense of the rest of coach. 14 hours! You should at least get an inch per hour!
  4. No manners – Fly Cathay and learn. When the food comes around the stewardesses on Cathay will always politely ask the guy in front of you to raise his seat for the meal. Not so on Delta. I enjoyed each and every (sic) meal with a healthy helping of hair. On the plus side it did allow me to watch my G movie easier with his seat down.
  5. No Vanity Kit – let’s see here: 14 hours, 2 meals, no personal entertainment, can we at least get a lil kit that says you love us? No? No socks, no eye mask, no toothpaste and no toothbrush!!!! We can’t bring large tubes of toothpaste on the plane due to security and now you don’t provide it!! Come on.

The Immigration Merry Go Round
I could go on and on but the Internet is running out of HTML. Now add all this up and you get some pretty unhappy passengers. If it was an hour flight up to Raleigh then fine, but this is an International flight. So, I’m tired, haven’t slept, and have the faint taste of hair in my mouth and I enter the Immigration merry go round. It is not Delta’s fault, but I am willing to lay guilt by association. Immigration should be a line. Line up, get passport stamped, go. If you think there is an advantage to having visitors versus residents you can have two lines. Hartsfield employs people. A LOT of people. Now in Asia these people have roles like shuttling passengers to the right location. In Hartsfield these people have no roles. Passengers wander aimlessly seeking assistance and finding none. They attempt to form a line, but ultimately there are too many passengers for the line and the queue backs up. This is when the line doubles and you have illegal mergers. “I’m with him,” “I was here behind here,” etc… You would think that the employees would organize the chaos. You would THINK that all the boards lit up showing the arrival of Flight 123 from Damnfaraway would give you a clue that you were about to have a lot of people and MAYBE you should get ready? No. Instead the line slowly proceeds. That is until I am actually about to enter the corral. You know the part where the line actually starts? That is when someone decides that we should break off and go to the other side. I follow my zombie passenger friends who enjoy taking a 14 hour flight and then walking a marathon to another side (the long route, not the short way) and start a line again. Of course people have skipped at this time. Then when I get to the front of the line (1 hour later) they decide it is time to change the immigration officials. Yes, that makes sense. Lots of airlines arriving and you time your shift change in the middle of when the passengers are there, never mind that these flights are on SET schedules. No one would ever think that one of the best logistics schools in the country is just up the street.

Luggage – Two Times is the charm!
Now, when you finish immigration you are done right? Oh no. You still have luggage and customs. One would think that after 1 hour in immigration my luggage would be patiently waiting for me. Nope. You need to wait again for the luggage to come out then proceed through customs and then…. RECHECK YOUR LUGGAGE! That is right. You have arrived, been admitted to the country, picked up your luggage, but can you go outside? NOPE! You must RE-CHECK your luggage and then GO THROUGH SECURITY AGAIN even when staying in Atlanta! This is the biggest thing that irks me. I am dead tired and now I have to take off my shoes, take out my laptop, and get frisked ALL OVER AGAIN even when I am not taking a flight. Not to mention the riding of the train and waiting for your luggage to arrive at yet a different carousel.

Phew. The lesson here is that if you have to fly to Atlanta, fly 1st class and fly to Raleigh first then drive down. Hartsfield and Delta suck.

Check out how Singapore Airlines does it
We now return you to your regular scheduled less ranty posts.