Welcome to Hawai’i.
Where pronouncing the ‘i means you will have to pay a lil extra. We have been faced with expensive drinks with no alcohol on many an occasion. When that happens in China, we usually switch to wine where you can’t take the alcohol out, right? Well maybe not, but they can take the taste out. Yesterday we had a switch from our watered-down-over-priced drinks to a glass of wine and it was called “Fish Eye”. It should have been called “Fish Pee” for it tasted like salt water.
At dinner we got wise and asked for an extra shot in the fruity concoction, “Yes, but that will be an extra charge.” Ok. Then we asked for more chips and salsa at the Mexican restaurant, “Yes, but that will be an extra charge.” uhm.. Ok. I asked for chicken on my salad, “Yes, but that wil.. You get the idea. It has been like this all week.
If we have not been gouged by prices we have become zombies waiting in line at every government office on Waikiki. They should call it “Wait hee hee.”
Here is just an idea of the type of paperwork we have had to go through JUST IN HAWAII (note travel times in taxis and hour long bus rides excluded):
1. Present to customs upon arrival: passports, sealed envelope from CIS GuangZhou, Adoption Certificate.
Time: 20 min. Grief Level 2/10
2. Print 7 specific pages that state we have an appointment the same day we arrived.
Time: 15 min. Grief Level 3/10. Cost $7.13!
3. Find only specific Post Office that will give us a Money Order.
Time: 45 min. Grief Level 4/10.
4. Go to Homeland Security to schedule Citizenship interview.
Time: 60 min. Grief Level 4/10.
5. Visit Social Security office for proof of having lived in the U.S. and get SIMPLE 2 second printout!
Time: 3 hours. Grief Level 9/10.
6. Return to Homeland Security at SCHEDULED APPOINTMENT TIME after stupid government holiday to have them tell you, “Ohhh, we were looking for you at 8am, but now we are busy” when you have your paper time stamped BY THEM at 8:00am proving you were there and then you wait in the hall with all the Filipinos for 45 minutes!
Time: 2 hours. Grief Level 10/10.
7. Race over to Passport Control to make 10:00am appointment, fill in paper, and hand them freshly printed citizenship paper.
Time: 1 hour. Grief Level 5/10.
8. Visit Taiwan Ancillary Office to get proof of parenthood for visa so kid can live with us.
Time: 2 hours. Grief Level 9/10.
9. Get proof of parenthood notarized
Time: 30 minutes. Grief Level 2/10.
10. Get proof of parenthood signed by a Judge
Time: 3 hours. Grief Level 6/10.
11. Return to pick up passport.
Time: 1 hour. Grief Level 5/10.
12. Return to Taiwan Ancillary Office to show passport and signed, sealed, delivered, and pissed on paper approved by everyone except Arnold and my grandmother.
WASTE of Time: 1 hour. Grief Level 10/10.
13. Frantically change tickets from next Sunday to tomorrow and get the hell off Hawa’i’i’i’i!
God bless B for some how she keeps all of this straight in her head and knows exactly what to do. Gioia, this is why they invented Mother’s Day. If I had to do it I would have to have a list for each place and then probably a master list to keep all the other lists straight. Phew..